TMAS
by rahhgirl.xx
Summary: The Marauder's Advice Show! Poor Lily is stuck doing a talk show with the Marauders read as she succumbs to their insanity. 3 guests in each chapter, review to request more! Plz R&R. Mild swearing.


(A/n): Hallo everyone! Here's a fanfic submitted only for your enjoyment. So, have fun reading, and please review at the end, I'd really appreciate it!

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**The Marauders Advice Show**

RL: Welcome to TMAS! (beams)

SB: In other words- (lopsided grin)

JP: Known as The Marauders Talk Show! (grins mischievously)

LE: Aaargh, I cannot believe I got roped into this!

JP: Too bad, darling!

SB: Exactly, sweetie Lilykins, now be nice and welcome the reviewers – I meant, viewers – of the show, honey treacle pancakes.

JP: Oi! She my girl! Hands off! (growls threateningly)

LE: If anyone asks, I don't know you, Potter (edges nervously away)

RL: Can we please return to the task at hand? (crosses arms and taps foot impatiently)

LE: Yea, I agree, we should.

JP: Lily, will you go out with me?

SB: That was totally out of the blue.

Dumbledore, sitting in the audience: Out of the blue, there I met you, showed me a life I can't see without you, there's just no way that I can fight these emotions –

LE: Er, sorry to interrupt, sir, but now's not the time.

RL: Even though Delta rules!

SB: Yea, Delta's cool….but not very hot. Now, Hilary Duff on the other hand….

JP: The right hand?

SB: Nice one, mate! (hi-5s James)

RL: (Buries head in his hands)

LE: (Glares at Sirius and James, who are now cracking up maniacally) I shouldn't have left the sugar bowl unguarded.

RL: WHAT? You did not say you let them have sugar?

LE: (Glances at the twosome, who are now laughing hysterically, horribly high-pitched) No, no of course I didn't, I said we should get on with the show.

RL: Good, good, that's what I thought you said. (Smacks James and Sirius on their heads). Ok, so let's have our first guinea pig – I mean, our first guest. Please make her welcome!

(A bimboish girl, who looks remarkably like Paris Hilton, prances onto the stage, wearing a very low-cut and revealing shirt and an extremely short miniskirt).

GP: (A/N: She ain't a general practitioner. What else does GP stand 4?) K, like, the prob is, there's like this total biatch who's like totally saying that I like stole her hottie! I mean, all I did was like make out with him in front of that whore and everyone else for like 5 minutes at her b'day party! The party was like getting so boring, though! Like, I totally did not do anything wrong!

SB: Actually, you're a bitch and a slut. I can't believe anyone would be as low as to date you.

RL: Exactly. Next!

(A smiling 6 yr old girl dressed up as a fairy with golden curls and bright blue eyes skips gaily onto the stage).

GP no. 2: Hiya! My problem ith that I have a cwuth on a book chawacta. He ith called Thiwiuth. Can you pweath help me?

JP: Thiwiuth? What a stupid name.

RL: Actually, the little lass has a lisp. So if you decipher what she just said, the 'lucky' lad's name is Siri-

SB: Shut up, Moony! Er, I'm afraid we can't help you, little girl. (pales noticeably).

RL: Knock it off, little girl. Too much baloney is bad for your health.

SB: It's a scam! A little girl scam!

LE: Shut it, you two. Next!

(Very cute guy that looks like Rhys Wakefield (If u don't know who he is, dw) walks onto the stage).

GP no.3: So. The thing is, I like this girl, but she likes my identical twin, who likes her best friend, who likes my cousin, who likes my ex, who likes my crush's cousin, who likes our teacher's daughter, who likes our principal's son, who likes my crush's enemy who likes my 4th cousin twice removed, who likes my ex's sister, who likes me.

(A moment's silence).

SB: Go star on a soapie.

JP: Or better yet, produce your own soapie of your life.

LE: All the signs point to you becoming a famous actor when you're older.

RL: Thanks mate, you may leave the stage. Well, folks, that's all for today on TMAS! We hope to see you next time!

LE: Until next time, remember our motto.

RL+SB+JP+LE: Farewell! Eat well, live well, and play well!

(Show Ends)

(whispering) Hey Lily, you didn't answer me before when I asked you if you would go out with m- oof!

(Different voice) Haha, go girlfriend!

(1st voice) Shove off, Pads! She's mine! The one and only mine! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

(Another voice) What a maniac.

(2nd voice) It's healthy to be psycho, Lilykins.

(1st voice) How many times do I have to tell you, she is my girl!

(Yet another voice) Ahem. You guys, you do know everyone can hear you?

Oh right.

Oh right.

Oh right.

Oh shut up.

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That was rather short, but I hope you like it! Tell me if I should continue it, and please review, whether bad or good. It really makes me feel good!


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